Deeper Wounds and The Eclipse Turning Point Offered
(Originally posted Feb 28th)
When childhood wounds are unhealed and unaddressed, we are often attracted to others with similar backgrounds. There’s something uniquely isolating about surviving that kind of trauma. It can make you feel like no one else could possibly understand the weight you carry or the triggers you navigate.
So when we meet someone whose pain resonates at the same frequency as ours, it creates an intoxicating sense of recognition. FINALLY someone gets it. But what feels like deep connection is often an unspoken contract to recreate the pain both people are familiar with.
This is why I’ve never subscribed to the idea of “twin flames” as some divine soulmate connection. It’s not a destined, descendant-angle kind of attraction, but more like a Vertex synastry aspect, an unconscious pull toward something unresolved and karmic. It’s a pattern running in the background of both people’s psyches, luring them into a loop of mirrored triggers.
At first, that mirroring feels like home. The way you react, the way they react—it’s eerily similar. They understand your wounds, your fears, the way you shut down or lash out, because they’ve been there too. But soon, that mirror becomes a hall of endless reflections, bouncing pain back and forth with no exit. There’s a reason you wanted to leave home, right?
Neither partner was given the appropriate tools to de-escalate conflict, to self-soothe, or to navigate normal emotional turbulence in a healthy way. What once felt like a safe harbor quickly becomes a brewing storm. And because both people mistake familiarity for safety, they stay.
This is where twin flame rhetoric becomes so dangerous. It convinces people that this cycle of triggering, and then breaking and reattaching is proof of some unbreakable bond rather than a trauma pattern screaming to be healed.
If two people are deeply triggering each other in an endless loop, they don’t need to fight to hold on tighter. They need to fight to learn how to disengage and leave the engrained pattern behind for good.
Rarely when both people are DEEPLY committed to heal individually, it means healing together, if both are willing to do the work. But often, it means recognizing that love is not supposed to feel like survival.
This theme of breaking free from painful cycles is especially relevant with the total lunar eclipse on March 13th. Lunar eclipses represent culminations, endings, and emotional revelations, and this one will be no exception. The Moon in Virgo will oppose the Sun and Saturn in Pisces, forcing us to confront where we've been stuck in patterns of self-sacrifice, illusion, or emotional entanglement, as well as our wounds from our father.
Meanwhile, retrograde Venus conjunct Mercury urges us to rethink the way we communicate in relationships. Are we truly expressing our needs, or are we just reenacting the same unspoken wounds from our mother?
This eclipse offers a turning point, a call to leave behind the relationships, behaviors, and mindsets that keep us in cycles of pain disguised as love. If there was ever a time to release what no longer serves, it’s now.
Please remember, real connection isn’t found in perpetual wounding. It’s found in the courage to step outside of the trauma bond and build something new.
